I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
