I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
don't judge my taste in strippers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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