she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
