You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
