I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize