I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm at about main and main street
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need to calm my uterus...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
