While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
