I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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