He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
