how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
