she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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