i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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