Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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