Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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