is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
