I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
