I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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