i permit you to call me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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