the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
