It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
farters have to be the big spoon...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
