Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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