We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
