We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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