you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
