How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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