I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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