dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
