So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize