so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
