He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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