definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
