I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
