i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
