Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
