Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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