That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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