Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
