You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
