Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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