You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
