There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As shirtless as possible
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize