somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize