Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
