No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
