end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
