dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
