Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
