Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
