brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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