no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
