yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
