I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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