Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
