What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
