Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
