I just pynch a tree in the face
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
