you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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