brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
