Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
