yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
