Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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