Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize