no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
