I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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