Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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