Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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