the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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