she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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